6kinds_of_crazy: cane fighting (canes)
[personal profile] 6kinds_of_crazy
Both of those things are a part of my autism.  Like a lot of "functional" autistic people, I have a need  for a schedule. 

Please note: "NEED."  Not, most emphatically not, "want."  When my schedule is violated, it throws at least that day out of whack, and sometimes that day and the one after, even.  Given my family, this is making it harder and harder to interact with them-- because my sister has some sort of possibly-LAWS-OF-PHYSICS-bound inability to be on time for anything that doesn't involve her job.  (She babysits professionally, so that may save her from lateness at that, as she works out of her home.)

This made the Christmas Holidays a mess, and highly stressful for me.  Despite claiming to understand that I need a schedule, and need to stick with it, my sister was late for every.  Single.  Event.  Scheduled.  Over the three days that we need to finish up Christmas, now.  (Two of her three kids are married, so there are their in-laws, as well as my sister's in-laws, requiring time and attention.)  By the end of things, I was a wreck, then came the disaster that was my shopping day on Tuesday the 29th.

For almost a year, I have gone shopping at the same time every week.  I leave between 11:00 and 11:30 AM every. Single. Time.  The need for a schedule is even more intense, here, as this day triggers both my agoraphobia and my demophobia.  The schedul helps me deal with those twin terrors at least a little better than I would without it.  

My shopping day has moved once, but it's been Tuesday since the middle of last summer, and the time has never moved.  My sister is, until such time as I get an actual hearing from the disability people, loaning me money to buy the things that food stamps and Medicaid/Molina won't pay for.  She was supposed to give me some for a couple of needed medications that Molina won't pay for that day.  On a few other occasions when she couldn't be there to hand me the money, she stuck it under the door.  Not that day.  She left her house before eleven o'clock.  So I, with my extremely limited budget, was looking at two trips to the nearest sity for shopping, instead of one-- as she wasn't answering either texts or phone calls.

When she DID text me, she asked why I was in town so early-- at NOON.

Now, here's the frustrating part, for me:  I'm expected to remember my sister's rather complicated schedule of babysitting kids, their feeding and nap times, which she has what days, what times parents drop them off and pick them up, and not come or call at inappropriate times.  These change pretty often, as parents' schedules change, or the kids age out of babysitting, or whatever.  I'm expected to keep up with these changes.

But she can't remember ONE TIME that hasn't changed in a year.

Makes.  Me.  CRAZY!

Seriously.  I've got to remember five days worth of ever-changing schedule.  She gets pissed if I miss something and show up during naptime, wake a kid up.  But she can't remember one time a week for me.

Fortunately, the rest of the people in my life are pretty good about it, though my online-gaming people are neither of them the most prompt in the world.  That, I'm learning to adapt to.  A little.  Very slowly.  And, since that day, my sister has made an effort to remember my need for a schedule better.  (Possibly because of the fact that I pretty much fell apart while trying to talk to her about it, which, maybe, just MAYBE, actually got her to stop assuming that it's a want, not a need.  Possibly!)

Now all I have to do is teach everyone on Earth who uses the English language to spell correctly and understand the basics of grammar, and I will be good to go.

(Oh, gods and ancestors.  I am so completely DOOMED!)  :-p
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