6kinds_of_crazy: stupidity demons (Default)
[personal profile] 6kinds_of_crazy
When did it become okay to touch perfect strangers?

This is bugging me more and more, of late, and I suspect it may be related to the other stuff that's going on in my head, but I never really liked strangers touching me.  Ever.

The list of people that are allowed to touch me without causing me to flinch or jerk away is diminishing.  Rapidly.  There are fewer than thirty people I'm cool with having touch me, at this point.  (Note: This number does not include medical professionals.  I am aware that they have to touch me to do their jobs and help me take care of myself.  So my brain overrides my instincts, there.)

The Thursday Night Game Crew are all groovy.  I trust them, and I like them.  They're my friends.  No issues, there.  My sister, her three kids, and their three kids, all okay.  (NOT her husband.  Still lots of leftover hostility there, and some active hostility, if I'm gonna be totally honest.  He's still a jerk on a good day.)  My grandfather.  Then, of course B-- she's my sister in all but blood-- and C, who's been my friend for thirty-plus years, and is helping me with the whole process of applying for disability, has been since the start.  Locally?  Excepting those I haven't seen in a long time (K & R, G), that's pretty much it. 

The internet friends, the ones I've actually met?  Sure.  Even the ones I haven't seen in a long time, I'm pretty sure I'd be okay with that.  The few I haven't met... I don't know.  Probably not, to the authors I follow, with apologies on the off chance that any of you are reading this.  (More like the WAY OFF CHANCE, I figure.)  Same to the couple -four people I've met through others on FB or Twitter.  (No offense meant, should any of you be reading this; it's my neuroses that are the problem, not anything that any of you have done or failed to do.)

But... last time I went shopping, I got something off of a high shelf for a short lady who was... I'm gonna guess middle thirties, and cute as a button.  I hooked the bottle of whatever it is that they call the blue Mountain Dew flavor with my cane, pulled it down where I could reach it (FIX YOUR SODA SHELVES, WALLY-WORLD!), and gave it to her, no problem.  Then she... I don't know if she meant to pat my arm or squeeze it, but either way, I flinched away hard enough to startle her-- and piss her off.  She said something pissy, turned around and stalked off like I'd told her to bring a ladder or grow a foot in height, or something.  Or started singing that old song Short People.

I feel bad about upsetting her, but then again, I sort of don't.  I guess I feel a little bad, maybe?  Or feel bad about not feeling worse about this?

I really don't get it.  Why do people think it's okay to touch people they don't know?  I mean, that's really intimate, touch is pretty much the most intimate sense, and I don't want to get that intimate with strangers.  

Or is it just me that dislikes touching and being touched by strangers?  Because I acknowledge that it could be just me.  Looking around at other people in the stores led me to think that at the least, it's just me who dislikes it so intensely, but that some others, at least, so share the dislike, if not the strength of the dislike.

Hell, I don't know.  Help a guy out, weigh in on this in the comments, let me know if it bugs you.
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